Fond memories of residency

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. I'll always be with you.”

~Winnie the Pooh

The car is packed. We are off for another weekend in Kentucky. The annual Labor Day weekend trip. It is a 5 hour drive. One day I will just cancel clinic and drive at a reasonable hour. (I know this will never occur but it's a nice thought). The kids and in the car; book on tape playing; we are ready to go.

We arrive at the Lake house second. The K's have arrived 1/2 hour before us. Hugs are given all around. It is 11pm. We are all sleepy. The Y's arrive an hour later. Hugs again for everyone. Comments are made on the size of the children. They have all gotten so big since the previous year. The adults sit and catch up on the previous year and the children play. It is late when the final light goes out.

The next the S's arrive and now the fun can begin. We all go fishing, boating, water skiing, etc.. This is a typical long weekend for many, but for the P's, K's, Y's, and S's, this is a residency reunion. These friendships were born between then men during residency, and the wives because of their husband's residency. If you look at us, we are a motley crew. Left to our own devices, we probably never have mixed. The families represent black and white; US and Europe; Catholic, Jew, Protestant, and agnostic. We have been bound by our experiences in internship.

In the evening, we feed the kids, put them downstairs with a movie and the pool table, and make our dinner. With our bellies full, we reminisce. The funny stories of all the Christmas and New Years parties are told. We remember the births of all but 3 of the children. The women speak of the spouses group, book clubs, and the shared babysitters. The men remember long hours together in the hospital. They remember being able to sleep anywhere at anytime; the women chime in that things haven't changed. We find out about other intern and residency classmates that have made it in the limelight (Dr. GD, and Dr. SG) and we wish them well. This goes on the rest of the night. We realize that we miss those days. The weekend continues and many stories are told and new memories made. The friendships are rekindled and strengthened.

The weekend ends and we all return to are positions as neuro- and orthopaedic surgeons, as well as one medical executive. We all long for the time when things were simple. The close relationships made during this stressful time bound us. Was this something special? Not so much, it was probably just the process developing adult relationships. To us, it was a special time that we can not repeat. For those in residency, don't allow medicine to prevent you from being human. For most of you, this is early adulthood. The friendships you develop today may be the most meaningful of your life.

“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.”
~Tennessee Williams

Friendship
by Henry David Thoreau

I think awhile of Love, and while I think,
Love is to me a world,
Sole meat and sweetest drink,
And close connecting link
Tween heaven and earth.
I only know it is, not how or why,
My greatest happiness;
However hard I try,
Not if I were to die,
Can I explain.

I fain would ask my friend how it can be,
But when the time arrives,
Then Love is more lovely
Than anything to me,
And so I'm dumb.

For if the truth were known, Love cannot speak,
But only thinks and does;
Though surely out 'twill leak
Without the help of Greek,
Or any tongue.

A man may love the truth and practise it,
Beauty he may admire,
And goodness not omit,
As much as may befit
To reverence.

But only when these three together meet,
As they always incline,
And make one soul the seat,
And favorite retreat,
Of loveliness;

When under kindred shape, like loves and hates
And a kindred nature,
Proclaim us to be mates,
Exposed to equal fates
Eternally;

And each may other help, and service do,
Drawing Love's bands more tight,
Service he ne'er shall rue
While one and one make two,
And two are one;

In such case only doth man fully prove
Fully as man can do,
What power there is in Love
His inmost soul to move
Resistlessly.
________________________________

Two sturdy oaks I mean, which side by side,
Withstand the winter's storm,
And spite of wind and tide,
Grow up the meadow's pride,
For both are strong

Above they barely touch, but undermined
Down to their deepest source,
Admiring you shall find
Their roots are intertwined
Insep'rably.